Rooted in the natural unemployability of a Bachelor of Arts degree, Brainflora began from the seeds of desperation as two disillusioned Arts graduates, having learned that nothing they had learned mattered in the “real world,” sought a way to convert unemployability into self-(un)employability.

Whether their effort succeeds or fails ultimately lies in your hands, dear (noble) reader. Yet even if financial green never flourishes from Brainflora, its founders hope it may at least get a green thumbs up for the richness it has yielded as a dualistic mental garden of nourishing ideas. Let us take a stroll through the garden’s two sides.

To the left, the garden is kept neatly bound and trimmed. Along its straight path, one can observe structured growth. Every pot of thought is given its logical place, demarcated by a keen eye for balance and precision. Germinating ideas, once suitably analyzed, receive nutrients proportional to that of their right-side counterparts, but with none of that artsy-fartsy, sentimental wish-wash. Here on the left side, mental gardening is a science.

To the right lies the blossoms of unfettered imagination, where seeds sprout spontaneously and life is abuzz with unusual cross-pollinations. Along a weaving garden path, one can get their hands dirty in organic, experimental growth. From this exploratory plowing through untapped mental depths, ideas of exotic variety are creatively nurtured forth. Here on the right side, mental gardening is an art.

A soil rich in crapola nourishes both sides of the mental garden, courtesy of its two faithful gardeners, who regularly excrete such mental dung as to fertilize a forest.


Gardeners of the Galaxy

Andrew Brown profile image
Coolest kid on the playground

Andrew Brown was born in a small coastal fishing village. His upbringing was unremarkable, having been raised on various exotic substances and breaded trout. He was a troublemaker in school, often pulling chairs out from under his classmates and verbally berating his emotionally vulnerable teachers. This sturdy foundation laid the groundwork for the fine specimen you see today.

Despite showing early signs of degeneracy, Andrew went on to graduate with a BA in religious studies, thus fulfilling his aspiration of obtaining the most useless degree possible. His hobby is drinking.

Andrew has since followed up his Arts degree with a markedly less useless credential: a Graduate Certificate in Public Relations. His hobby is still drinking.

Despite the sense of purpose drinking brings to his life, Andrew identifies as a nihilist. Learn more about his search for meaning on his gravitationally gifted YouTube Channel: Cosmic Debris.

Anders Jorgen profile image
Going downhill in fashion

Anders Jorgen is a legendary writer famed for his modesty as a great man. Once nearly making it his entire life without a single speling mistake (thanks to his BA in English), he embodies the human approximation of perfection. When asked why he became a writer, Anders says out of revenge for the tree branch that fell onto his tricycle, crushing it beyond repair. (Incidentally, he prefers that you print out Brainflora blog posts before reading them).

Anders is also a stand-up comedian, which is just a fancy way of saying he’s broke(n on the inside). To practice your throwing arm in advance of your next food fight, hire Anders to perform a comedy show. For more information, visit the Stand-Up Comedy section of Brainflora’s Garden Center.