Dear Diary,
People like to complain about the cold, and I like to complain about people complaining, as you well know.
Now I’m not dismissing complaints about the cold simply because I’m cold. It’s also because of the cold’s many benefits:
- Easier to ignore people when bundled up.
- Neighbours stay inside.
- No more goodie-two-shoes knocking at your door with some petition.
- Most cyclists have given up.
- Those slow-moving, lackadaisical pedestrians just out for a stroll as you’re waiting to turn the corner — yeah they’re gone.
- Less fear of missing out, since everyone else is staying in each night, too.
- More tolerance for burnt food – my specialty.
- Less stench when garbage piles up in backyard – also my specialty.
- Less body odor on subway due to multiple layers of clothing.
- The only chatter you hear is people’s teeth.
֎ Stay Frosty My Friends ֎
You know who ain’t so hot about the cold? Smokers. Well, if they’ve been craving a feel-good fix to their winter blues, they’re in luck: Smokers Rejoice at Warming Weather.
Pollinate:
